Mortgage Grapevine

The Pig Needs A Little Help.........

Pedro's pinewood derby is comming up in a couple of months. We did the rain gutter boat race together...and we got creamed, in our face style, by boats that I felt were mostly built by dads. I'm all for building/racing a car together, as I enjoyed working together with him. But something inside me wants to spend $400 bucks and buy a car that would be more competitive. We could still build a car....and I could slip in the shill car in at the last minute. Is there something in the middle I could do??????
by Power Pig December 30, 2012 6:21 PM


The design of the car means absolutely nothing. You could slap the wheels on the block and win with the right wheels and axles. The wheels in the box can be modified, by sanding them smooth, and the axles can be ground and polished, but your best bet is to go online and get LEGAL wheels and axles that have already been machined. Then take them and put in a zip lock bag with powered graphite for a couple weeks. Shake the bag once or so a day.

You also need an alignment guide (probably get one from the place you get the wheels and axles) and you have to make sure you have them perfectly aligned on the car. Also note that the slots already on the block of wood may not be in alignment and you may need to re-cut them.

Google how to build a winning pinewood derby car, there is a boat load of info on it.


by Vinnie The Leg Breaker December 30, 2012 7:56 PM


Personally I don't think you should touch the car. I understand you don't want your son competing with other "dads" but that isn't the lesson you are supposed to teach.

It's no wonder piglets have no ethics these days. The hogs have none.


by BuySide December 30, 2012 8:31 PM


It is all about where the weights are placed. Just make the pig head small and load up the back end.
by the voice of reason December 30, 2012 8:36 PM


Tvor, you advising pig or the piglet? Good that pig has the know-how but you deftly waddle around the question. Who should build it?
by BuySide December 30, 2012 9:06 PM


Buyside, the dads are big kids. Why can't they build it together? Big pig does weights, little pig paints and puts stickers on. Collaborate Buyside!
by the voice of reason December 30, 2012 9:21 PM


There is no middle.
If he's a kid that will learn from the minutia of making it faster, groovy, use the lesson.
Otherwise carve it and paint it to look like a turd and then the lesson will be about how some things are worth participating in, not not competing in.

by turdly December 31, 2012 9:27 AM


you can do both....my dad and i built a couple kick-ass cars. He would cut them out on the bandsaw, i sanded them down and painted them, we used graphite on the wheels and axles and he drilled and lead weighted the car out... I learned how to use some tools, he got to play with liquid lead we both won....and so did the cars...I can still see him hunched over the work beanch with a tooth pick and white paint writing "goodyear" on the tires...I cut one of my paratroopers off at the waist and glued him onto the "drivers side" and put a lego steering wheel in front of him. My dad cut some plexi-glass for the windshield....

....good times
by Donktard Borker December 31, 2012 12:54 PM


All well and good Donk. But what did the rule book say? If the rule book says no graphite (as I recall) and the participant must do the work then wft is dad doing beyond supervision and advice?

I ask, what lesson are you there to teach? Turd is closest amongst all of you.


by BuySide December 31, 2012 4:18 PM


Well I've taken this long enough....FO Buyside...you and your pretty mouth. The point is to win....this whole fucking world is about winning....I' going teach this boy to win. And win we will...then I'll teach him to make fun of the losers....Where do you live Buyside...Me and my kid wanna come buy and stick it in your face...no teeth please. Happy New Year.
by Power Pig December 31, 2012 7:58 PM


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